Holy Cow  tells the story of Elsie, an anthropomorphic cow with human attributes which receive no acknowledgement and no explanation, who along with a turkey and pig, escapes her farm in order to pursue her dream.

“Oh yeah, we believe in God. In the shape of a cow. Not really. Scared you,though, didn’t I?”

Although it took me longer than expected to read, due to both my impending coursework deadline and difficulty to immerse myself into the story, I on the whole greatly enjoyed this satirical tale.

Reading some reviews on Goodreads (as you do), many people complained about its rambliness (not a word, I know) but I think that that’s the whole point. It acts as an inconsequential kids book to serve the purpose of the satire that Duchovny means to present.

This humorous novel is arguably the best satire of the twenty-tens. In what other context would a turkey, a pig and a cow solve the Palestinian-Israeli conflict?! It is a criticism of human selfishness and behaviour, our obsession with technology, and animal mistreatment and farming.

“You people are funny, constantly thinking about eating and trying to look like you never eat at the same time”

“Humans will eat almost anything if you put a little salt and butter on it”

With the discovery of what cows are turned into when they mysteriously disappear (did someone say burger?!), Elsie explores ideas about human superiority and how humans feel like they have power over every other being . All animals are sentient, and I feel like this book serves to show this. Although we wouldn’t quite agree, Elsie reinforces this by joking “you think plants don’t have feelings? Maybe not the type of feelings you and I have, but they do have planty feelings…”. I mean plants clearly don’t have a brain, but that’s besides the point!

“Hate is like a poison you make for your enemy that you end up swallowing yourself”

As Elsie points out, we do not want to be reviled, but its is not right to want to be worshipped either. Every one of us is equal, both amongst people and on the wider scale of within the whole animal kingdom too.

I enjoyed how it broke the fourth wall, with Elsie going into tangents about her editor and what she would do if her story was turned into a Hollywood blockbuster – I mean who wouldn’t want to be played by Jennifer Lawrence? (2015 pop culture references down!)

“innocence is nice, but the world offers us more and it’s wrong not to take it. You can’t stay a calf forever.”

We all eventually grow out of oblivious innocence, and even though some, like Mallory, are content to stay where they are, many of us,like Elsie, will yearn to get out and explore the wider world and what we can learn from it.

And even though Elise, Tom (the turkey) and Shalom (the pig’s) big beyond the seas dreams don’t come true…

…” it’s not important that dreams come true,it’s just important that you have a dream to begin wit, to get you to take your first steps.”

I hope you enjoyed this slightly different style of book review. I don’t know if it’s all this essay writing, but I’ve somehow developed this need to jot down any quotes I particularly like.

I don’t normally read satires, so this was definitely an interesting read and a genre I will definitely look out for more.

Thank you to bookbridg and Headline Publishing for sending me this book, all opinions (and this whole review in fact) are my own!

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Hasta luego,